Hi I'm Hallie Thanks for stopping by to read my blog

Control ~

I really wish I had more control over things.  I have this belief that if people just listened to me more, or if I could just change people's behavior (me having control) that I could change the world, I could make all the bad things good, and create world peace (cue Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality).  

What I have learned though, is that I have very little control over others (let alone people across the world). I can't make others do things differently, I can't make others see different perspectives. I can offer different perspectives, but I can't make the person see differently.   The only thing I can do is control my views, words and actions.  What I can't do is change other's behavior by saying the perfect thing, doing some action to create a desired reaction, or plead expecting a different outcome.

Over the last few weeks I have had many conversations around the topic of control.  Many people frustrated that "if they would just A,B or C (like I tell them), then it would be all better".  This leads to so much disappointment and anger.  So many hurt feelings....This often feels like a personal attack, and "why don't they care about me" thinking, and although the behavior feels like a personal attack it often isn't.  So, rather than spending too much time trying to figure out ways to control something that is out of your control, maybe take some time to ponder "why do I need this to be different"? 

I think a great question to ask yourself might be "how do I take care of me if this behavior/scenario doesn't change the way I want"?