walking alongside you

Being Needy...

I believe that there is a myth out there that is destructive. (well, there are really a lot of myths that are destructive but for now I will talk about just one) It's the myth that our needs make us too needy.

I have heard time and again that having a need is a bad thing; it makes us needy, and somewhere we learned that being needy is wrong. Please let me say this...having needs does not make us needy; it makes us human. God created us to have needs; some can be filled by others and some can only be filled within ourselves. 

My needing someone to hear me is not needy; it is a need.  My wanting someone to treat my needs with respect is also not needy, it is a desire. I cannot make someone treat my needs with respect but I can decide how much, if any, impact they will have in my life.

We should never feel guilty or ashamed of having needs...there is nothing wrong in that. If we are expecting others to fulfill all of our needs then we might need to reconsider if I am asking for someone to fill a need that only I can. 

If I am asking for my needs to be treated with respect and they are not that is a separate discussion.

If you are feeling guilt or shame because you believe (or you are hearing that) you are too needy please take some time to reflect and note that most needs merely make us human.... and all humans have needs.