walking alongside you

October...

This blog is dedicated to baby loss moms ~

I used to love October ~ it meant the beginning of fall, in my family and with friends there were a lot of birthdays to celebrate, and it triggered the beginning of the holiday season. I always felt happy ~

Now it has another meaning; Pregnancy loss and Infant death remembrance. This is the month of memorials, walks, candle lightings and ceremonies to honor our children. There is a day dedicated to it ~ October 15.

Since my own loss October has brought with it sadness and longing. Over the last couple of years it also brings some peace. I, along with thousands of others, take time to share our loss with our family and friends. We take time to honor the memories and have our children's names spoken. We work to tell others that our children exist and that they matter. I have found some peace being in knowing my daughter is well remembered.

For some families October brings about a new sense of depression and a wondering if they have healed or are stuck. I want to encourage those families that October is hard. Feelings seem to pop up out of nowhere, often beginning in September, leaving us to deal with confusion as well as manage the other onslaught of emotions that arise.

I encourage you to take a little extra time to be kind to yourself and practice extra self care. Take a walk or enjoy another cup of coffee. Be aware that October will bring with it extra feelings ~ don't try to figure it out ~ just allow it to be. Remember that you are being constantly reminded or yours, and your friends, losses.
If you are struggling call a safe friend ~ remind yourself that it is OK to ask for help and to talk about your loss and your feelings.  It is a privilege for your friend to share in this with you. Remember that you are not alone ~ so many others are out there struggling with you. People do care and they don't want you to be alone in this.  Have a friend join you for coffee, call a support group, or call a therapist ~ make sure you call someone.
Take care and breathe.