I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday and I think I didn't finish. I have other thoughts, but the one thing I want to put out there is this.
We have to come to a place of forgiving God. It might be better worded as coming to a place of reconciliation with God. Many of us have learned that we aren't allowed to be angry with God, or question His plan for us. But, that is where the healing often is. It is in the conversations of "I don't get this, and I am really hurt and angry". God is able to hear that, and I believe, wants to hear it.
When we are met with the answer that "God's plans are better than ours" it can shut down the conversation of "but I don't get it. It doesn't feel like God's plan is better"', and this doesn't lead to healing. I believe that the place to learn to trust God again is in the reconciliation with God. The conversations around "I don't like this, and I don't get it".
I know...it sounds narcissistic; because it is. We are not God. God is not fallible and He created a world that became fallible. He allows us to live in a world that is fallen.
Have you ever had a disagreement with a friend or spouse, and sat down with them for a face to face talk about it? You had a moment of being super honest about the hurt and anger you were feeling and it was heard? When that conversation was done did you feel closer to them? It feels pretty good, doesn't it? It opens the door to a more intimate and trusting relationship. I am suggesting the same is true with God.
Here's the thing....many of us live in a world where we praise God. We thank Him for his blessings, we seek His guidance, and we turn to Him in prayer. And, we thank Him for the gift of His son ~ a son that He sent to the cross to atone for our sins.
and then...our baby dies, and we are thrust into a place of "how do I trust God"?
Whether we believe that God took our child, allowed our child to be taken, or believe that God could have saved our child we are lead back to knowing that His son died first. God knows this grief that we endure. Holding this truth is the beginning of the road to trusting God again, the middle is the reconciliation. Ultimately, the path can lead to trusting again.